


Lust, Caution, Yield To Oncoming Traffic

by kuonji



Series: The Secret Lives Of McShep [2]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Awkward First Times, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-15
Updated: 2016-10-15
Packaged: 2018-08-22 13:41:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8287714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuonji/pseuds/kuonji
Summary: Making a single surveying turn around John's room, he announced, "Just so you know, I was expecting to do better."





	

**Author's Note:**

> Started back in 2006 when the original story was posted, abandoned in 2008, recently brought back out, dusted off, and cobbled into the semblance of a completed work. Hope it amuses!

John felt unexpectedly awkward as McKay entered his room. You'd think watching porn for close to a couple of years ought to have given him some clues. Really, all that did, though, was to make every single conversation opener he could think of sound corny, sappy, filthy, or all three.

Thankfully, Rodney saved the day with his usual self-centered charm. Making a single surveying turn around John's room, he announced, "Just so you know, I was expecting to do better."

Then it was easy. All John had to do was respond as he always did.

He chose to give him the McKay-I-can't-believe-you-just-said-that-out-loud Look. Luckily, he'd had a lot of practice with those.

Rodney straightened, defensive. "All I'm saying is, I always figured on a fellow scientist. Astronomy or chemistry maybe -- you know, to avoid spousal competition, so we can both be top of our fields. Throw in some mild hero worship maybe, and, well, I thought some big -- you know -- wouldn't hurt. Healthy progeny to carry on the McKay genes."

John brought out the equally well-practiced You-are-insane-and-why-do-I-associate-with-you Look. "Okay, here's where I don't apologize for the lack of big... _hips_. And if you think I'm about to worship you for _any_ reason, this relationship is obviously not going to work out."

"No, no!" McKay hastened to say. "That's fine. You're obviously intelligent enough. And of course there won't be any competition. We're not even in the same areas. Complete spectral opposites here!" he paused to blink a few times "Relationship? Really?"

John shrugged. "Why not? But since you're expecting better, then..."

"No, no, no!" Rodney waved his hands, doing an impression of a man on fire. "I thought saying that would make _you_ feel better. No big, ah, things to live up to."

John couldn't resist. He was giddy from the most recent month-long fight for their lives, with bad porn as their chief source of relaxation. "I don't know. I'm sure I can live up to at least one of your big _things_."

"Oh. Oh, good." Rodney's hands fluttered down for a landing at his sides. "Are we going to have sex now?"

The look on his broad, open face was pure eagerness. Pure Rodney McKay. John started to laugh. Through his tearing vision, he could see Rodney looking irritated.

"It was-- You hardly have to-- I mean, it seemed an obvious follow-up. What with you talking about-- about _things_ like that." McKay made air quotes with an angry flourish, which just set John off again.

To stop himself, he finally had to just yank McKay to him by his blue and black shirtfront and kiss him. The chuckles still bubbled through at first, but Rodney's tongue soon took care of that.

John had speculated before -- just in the abstract -- how Rodney might kiss. That was in the same snatches of boredom when John thought about random conundrums such as how Teyla might fight while wearing that leather get-up from "Space Amazons VI" and how Ronon might enjoy riding a horse for real. John had expected single-mindedness from Rodney, or maybe meandering stumbles like how the scientist talked.

What he got was instinctual, wild, honest, with unexpected flair.

Rodney kissed like John flew.

He also stopped on a dime the same way, shoving John back with a suddenness that made him experience something akin to altitude sickness. "Wha...?"

"Have you done this before?"

He was still boggling over his new knowledge of what McKay tasted like. "What, kiss?" McKay gave John his own patented You-are-an-imbecile Look, so he corrected: "No, I haven't. So?"

"So we should talk about this."

"Are you kidding me?" What, did McKay think he'd stepped into this room to play checkers?

He allowed the I-know-you're-a-genius-but-what-the-hell Eyebrow to make an appearance.

McKay chose to ignore him utterly in favor of blustering on with his clearly unnecessary protests. "Listen to me. We can't just jump into something like this. It'd be-- irresponsible."

John couldn't resist: "I won't get you pregnant. Honest."

"Oh my god, are you even paying attention? Am I talking to myself, here?"

John rolled his eyes. "It's simple," he laid it out. "We screw each other now, fight about who sleeps on the wet spot later, have a big breakfast together tomorrow, and live happily ever after. What's to talk about?"

At least half of the flicks had them sappily in love and making like rabbits for the rest of their lives. Of course, a third also had them raped or beaten or tortured horribly, but hey, it was just fiction, right?

"What's to talk about?! Only, oh, _everything_."

"You know, McKay, I've figured out why you're on the bottom all the time." Ninety-eight percent of the time, at any rate, last John checked.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You're more girly than all the women on this base put together."

McKay puffed up just like John had imagined he would, all prim and prickly. Instead of being goaded into action, however, he said, "Fine. You go and find one of your accommodating, manly women, then," and turned to go.

"Aw, wait. McKay--" John dodged into his path and stopped him by his shoulders. "C'mon." Rodney was still thin-lipped with displeasure.

John realized that what he'd meant as a harmless jibe was at least partly true. He shouldn't be treating Rodney like his buddy. Not with Rodney in John's bedroom like this with a-- _relationship_ on the horizon. He should be treating McKay more like his girlfriend. Er. Boyfriend. Whatever.

"Hey," he said, in a gentler voice. He smoothed his thumbs along the stiff tendons between Rodney's neck and shoulders.

It seemed to help. Rodney's shoulders lowered half an inch. "Have you thought about this? Really?" he said.

First rule for girlfriends. Honesty. Be honest or at least fake it convincingly. With Rodney, he'd never had to fake, he realized. Huh. Maybe this was going to work out after all. "Sure. You?"

"Of course. I mean, we have been watching facsimiles of ourselves, ah, you know. It's natural to-- but," he stopped himself, his fair skin pinking up rather adorably. "But it was just sex."

John nodded seriously. Second rule was earnestness. He never had to fake that with McKay either. Either he actually cared and showed it, or he blew McKay off and McKay called him an ignoramus, and then they were fine. "It doesn't have to be."

"You mean, with the whole relationship thing."

John was not going to blush. He just wasn't. "Yeah, maybe. I mean, sure. I'm good with that. Are you?" Totally not blushing.

"Sure! I mean, yes. Not just sex is good."

"We're not going to have sex?" John tried on his I-am-so-totally-innocent Look, but that one never worked with McKay, anyway. Rodney hmphed and took his turn at yanking John in by his shirtfront.

Take two was much more satisfying, more tongue and pressure and roaming hands and no stopping.

No stopping.

The next fifteen minutes were somewhat vague, but John clearly remembered a moment when he looked down and thought, _Hell!_

He'd had it completely wrong. _This_ was why Rodney was put on the bottom all the time. Rodney, moaning, shirt off, and squirming up with John on top of him was the hottest thing John had ever seen. Not even all the amateur porn they'd been inhaling the last couple of years came close.

Later, side by side, John grinned at the ceiling and said, "That... was very cool."

Rodney heaved his I'm-so-put-upon Sigh. "I was obviously misled by the disproportionate slew of movies that made you all... romantic, and hot, and, and noble."

"I'm not?"

"Well..." McKay seemed to think about this very seriously. "Actually, you are. But you're also an _ass_."

John shrugged. Couldn't argue with that. "So are you."

"Of course," McKay said, agreeable as usual.

"So this will work out."

"Of course! What planet are you on? Wait, don't answer that. Yes, I think it'll work out."

"Cool."

  
END.


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